My Child Only Listens To Me When I Yell

Children have very different perspectives than adults do in this world. Their viewpoint occasionally contrasts sharply with ours. Your raised voice initially has no significance for a young child. They simply cannot see why their mother, whom they adore and who is sweet and kind, suddenly changed into a yelling stranger. The child usually doesn’t understand the significance of your transformation. But then they get used to it, stop perceiving the calm tone and adequate behavior towards them, and later on, the child understands only the cry.

Is it okay to yell at a child in order to make them listen to you? No. But parents who are abusive to their own children are not the only ones who scream at their children. Once we get into the habit of screaming, we stop noticing it. However, the parenting approach is also detrimental to both parents and kids.

Why Stop Yelling If It Works? 

The child only listens when I scream” – most of the time, parents yell at their kids in an effort to discipline them and think that they are doing so for educational reasons. However, this approach to schooling has the opposite result. The youngster suffers from the parent’s screams, which also affects their dignity and self-worth. When adults yell, fear is the first sensation a kid feels. Not regret, not reflection, not a wish to make amends—fear.

Children who hear shouting either try to defend themselves by shouting back (for which they might be yelled at or punished again), or they run away in an effort to avoid your righteous indignation. It’s important to remember that children learn how to behave in emergency situations, so consider what kind of adult you want your baby to turn into. Do you want them to comply with anyone who shouts at them? 

Screaming is ineffective. Just keep it in mind. Crying won’t make problems go away; it will just make more of them. If you want the child to alter their behavior, talk to them and explain the circumstance while also reviewing the act and correcting mistakes. A calm conversation, rather than shouting, will increase the chances that the child will draw conclusions. 

Catch Yourself Before You’re At Your Breaking Point

Not all adults possess self-control. Children find it challenging to predict their parents’ moods since they can lose control at any time. Keep a close eye on your feelings and reactions, particularly if there have already been some unpleasant experiences. You must develop the ability to recognize your initial aggressive impulses and restrain yourself from acting on them. Breakdowns happen more frequently when you are under stress. Our ability to maintain self-control is compromised by being overtired, hungry, busy, stressed out about our jobs or our personal lives, and having a lot of work to accomplish. The inner aggressor will then be able to emerge before the mind can stop it. Avoid overworking yourself and divide the workload in accordance with your strengths. Try not to try to be flawless and do everything at once; it is needless and unachievable. Try to be more grateful for the here and now.

Shift Your Approach In How You Talk to Your Child

When talking to kids, make an effort be positive more frequently. Tell your baby how much you adore them with a hug and a kiss. If the child has done something wrong, you should calmly express your disappointment to them and analyze their behavior without using insults. It is inappropriate to tell the baby things such, “You can’t act like that,” “Don’t touch it,” and “Don’t go there”. It is crucial to clarify precisely why the activities taken them are viewed negatively. Learn to put yourself in the child’s shoes and see things from their perspective. You shouldn’t attempt to make the baby feel guilty. But it’s crucial to get them used to assume responsibility. To achieve this, it is necessary to examine each wrongdoing they have done and establish their complicity. A child must not be subjected to verbal or physical abuse, humiliation, punishment in public, or comparisons to other kids.

An Escalated Adult Cannot Calm an Escalated Child

When you scream at the child, their bodies release a lot of stress hormones, which makes them tense and block their thoughts. The corpus callosum, which connects the two hemispheres of the brain, shrinks. As a result, the cerebellum’s blood supply is reduced, brain activity is decreased, and memory and attention are negatively impacted. The emotional balance of children is off.

When a child throws a tantrum and parents start to yell at them to calm them down, they are frequently seen as being unsupportive and unhelpful. The child feels unloved, which leads to carelessness and a sense of his own insignificance. Psychologists strongly advise against yelling at kids for any reason. It is unlikely that such parental behavior can be explained by temperament. The adult’s mental instability is most likely the cause.

Countdown to Transitions

Unrestrained adults are advised by experts to leave the room during a stressful situation, try to calm down, and then resume talking to the child. Physical effort aids in the transformation of negative energy into good energy. Squats and push-ups will help to soothe the tensions as much as possible. Then, go over with the kid what he did wrong. 

Plan a “quiet voice day” if you find that you scream excessively. Convince the child that you will do your best not to yell today and that they will pledge to follow your directions.

Encourage and assist your cherished children in their endeavors. Every child requires the love, care, and support of their parents.